It is tough enough to keep up with the common behavioral problems in children these days if you feel confident in your parenting action plan. However, if you are not getting the results you are hoping for in your family life, one place to double-check is if you are stuck in the habit of not following through as you work with your children to help them overcome their behavioral problems.
Following through with your kids takes time and effort, to be sure. It can downright inconvenient, which is why so many parents fall back to nagging instead.
The question becomes, though, does nagging work?
My answer as a parent for over 27 years is “no”. But you need to answer for yourself and your family’s situation. If nagging is working for you, then by all means, continue it.
If you are like me and long for a better relationship with your kids than nagging can supply, then you will appreciate a better quality answer to your children’s behavioral problems.
== Common Behavioral Problems – a Quick Peek
The problems kids deal with are often age-related, but here are the common challenges most all kids struggle with as they grow.
· Not doing their chores at home.
· Not doing their school work.
· Being disrespectful at home or school.
· Lack of self-control.
· Lack of self-discipline.
· Selfish behavior.
· Not taking personal responsibility.
There are other childhood issues and these challenges do overlap, nevertheless, it’s easy to see how most childhood behavior problems flow from these basic situations.
As a parent, following through is an extremely effective tool you can use as you help guide your child to better behavioral patterns. It is not a guaranteed tool (no such thing in the parenting world), but NOT using follow through almost does guarantee failure in your home. Consider that!
Following through simply means that the rules or consequences you lay down, you enforce. So, the first rule that applies to you as the parent is…
= don’t state a rule or consequence you have no intention or way of carrying out!
Next…
= make sure the consequence is more on the child than on you. In other words, the major inconvenience for this consequence should involve the child, not involve you jumping through hoops to HELP your child comply.
And next again…
= it is your child’s job to test your limits and it is your parenting job to be a firm and unmovable wall in your task of enforcing the consequences you laid out.
In light of this information…
is your child is whining?
Doesn’t matter.
Is your child throwing a fit?
Doesn’t matter.
Is your child saying he hates you?
Doesn’t matter.
Don’t be emotionally sidetracked by your child’s behavior. Instead respond according to the consequences you have established.
Think of it this way: there are common behavioral problems in children and there are common healthy parenting behaviors designed to help kids work through those growing up challenges.
Following through is a big one.
So stand your ground, mom or dad. It’s your job to be the sheriff with the big star and the white hat. Your kids are finding out if they can respect you to say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t disappoint them! Be the hero, the leader in your family.
It will be one of the best things you ever do.
